I have a secret!!!!

I bet you're just dying to know what it is, right?  Well let's get right to the point.  I was not the most disciplined girl on Thanksgiving day.  It's tough having double food duty with lots of buttery, sugary goodness lurking around at every corner.  I can testify from Thanksgivings past that I was way more controlled this year than I have ever been.  The amazing thing is that I lost 2 lbs. the week of Thanksgiving and inch off of my waistline.  AMAZING!!!  What I did not do was continue to eat like the gluttonous fiend that I enjoy being on occasion for the rest of the weekend.  I did not miss any time at the gym either.

We've now entered December, and it's time to get serious for real yo!  I am meticulously keeping track of my food, water, and workouts.  I am also reporting to my coach, Mrs. Jessy Dendy of Team Ascension.  I want to make momma proud, so I am being as detailed as I can.  It's time to kick into full throttle discipline.  Oddly enough, my morning devotion was about discipline too.  Yes, God, I get it.  It's go time!  "No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11  How's that for a word, huh?  Well this girl is psyched about the changes even the discipline.  I know that I will look at other people and want my results now now NOW, but I have to remember that I'm just like Hermie the Common Caterpillar.  God isn't finished with me yet.  He's teaching me all kinds of cool stuff and transforming all of me not just my body.

Eat turkey not crow

I'm going to be honest, self-discipline is my weakest part to train.  Mental training makes leg day look like a walk to the fridge.  I have nothing to confess as of yet.  I have kept a straight head so far this week, but I am coming off of a Sunday sabotage.  The good news is that I'm already down half an inch off my waist.  I have this insane determination to exit the holidays smaller instead of 10 lbs. heavier.  I have people watching me now so no pressure.  So as long as I stick to turkey and stay away from the desserts I might be ok.  The fun thing about being married is the double dose of Thanksgiving.  I really can't splurge because I know that my trigger foods are going to be there screaming at me.  Trust me, I frenzy after one tiny little taste.  

In other news, did mention that I teach Zumba?  I DO!!!!  The fact is that I have felt like a fraud because I do not have the leanest physique, but I teach a class that is a fitness program.  I am also majoring in Exercise Science, and I don't quite feel like I meet an image that I have in my head to have a career in the field.  Am I pouting?  No not really.  I am being proactive and doing something to improve the things that need to be improved, but the mind is definitely a tough one.  I want to see my hard work, but I still have a high body fat percentage that is hiding my real body.  

This is just reminder of what life in general is like.  If you compare yourself to others, you'll never feel a sense of contentment with yourself.  It's funny because my youngest daughter is stuck on this book called Hermie the Common Caterpillar by Max Lucado.  The main character and his best friend are plain common caterpillars.  There is nothing that makes them stand out in their opinions, but God reminds them that He loves them just the way they are and that He's not finished with them yet.  He was transforming the hearts of the caterpillars, and we all know that caterpillars physically change too. As difficult as life may be sometimes, we're not finished changing yet.  It takes time to grow and change.  Change isn't immediate, but it comes when you continue to search it out and sometimes even seek the help and guidance of someone with more knowledge. 

A Little About Me

Welcome to my journey.  If you are here, then you must be just the slightest bit curious about what it is I am doing here.  I am not a natural writer, and I have never been the type to feel comfortable about letting people know about my dreams and aspirations.  Well folks the time has come to let you in on a secret that I have reluctantly shared with an elite group of people.  I am training to become a body builder.  I know that terminology brings up images of masculine women and lots of shiny oil.  While that is absolutely a category of body building competitions, I can assure you that it is not my cup of tea. I want to compete in a much more feminine area of the sport.  

 

So what does this have to do with faith or discipline?  I am sure that you can guess how disciplined a person has to be in order to be at the level of competing.  I guess that leaves the question of faith.  I have been a Christian for the majority of my life, and I can see that God has a much bigger plan than I can imagine for me.  I know that discipline is a key area of my life that needs much improvement.  I also know that my lack of obedience  has brought me to the low points of my life.  Obedience requires discipline.  My lack of discipline has brought me to battle with my weight and has given me a plethora of excuses to justify my actions.  Well not this time.  The fact that I have played my cards so close to my chest for the majority of my life has not served me well.  I have lacked accountability, and I have a few spare pounds still to show for it.

The holidays are now knocking at my door, and I know more than ever that I need to answer to someone other than myself.  I cannot be left to my devices because I am the queen of self sabotage.  Will I have the self discipline to maintain a level head and not frenzy?  We shall see.